Ginger news, part one

Ouch! That hurt.

Yes, that's right. While we may have special powers, ginger people can still hurt. In fact, it seems that we can hurt a lot more than non-gingers. I don't really see how that's fair, but it does at least mean that we're sensitive, no matter what people may say.

Dr Edwin Liem, from the University of Louisville, Kentucky, recently found that ginger women between the age of 19 and 40 are more likely to undergo a heightened level of autonomic response when receiving the same amount of an inhaled anaesthetic as a non-ginger test group.

It is believed that mutations within the melanocortin 1 receptor responsible for ginger hair could also be at the root of the increased sensitivity to pain.

This really doesn't seem fair? Have I not already had to suffer enough for my hair?

Famous ginger people, part one

There's been lots of famous ginger people throughout history. It's good to know that these role models exist, I can look up to them & dream about how I could have maybe been as well known as they once were. If I ever get to set up my own country (that's my other dream), I will build statues to some of the famous ginger people, so that others can be as inspired as I have been.

It would be fun to learn more about these famous ginger people. Let's start with a sporting hero to inspire all those ginger footballers that have important European qualfying games next week.

Edson Arantes do Nascimento is one of the most famous footballers in the world. He was born in Três Corações, Brazil, in 1940 and went on to win the World Cup three times. He is better known as Pelé. He wasn't ginger.

However, Gary Doherty, born in Co. Donegal, Ireland, in 1980, is ginger. He's also better known, in some circles at least, as the Ginger Pelé. He started his career with Luton Town, before moving to Tottenham Hotspur for £1 million - more money than was owned by the entire ginger population of the world at the time of the other Pelé's birth. He made his first appearance for Tottenham during a 3-1 defeat against Manchester United. Following a series of injuries & the occasional calamitous own goal, he was sold to Norwich City for 31p at the beginning of the 2004/2005 season. Norwich finished the season in 19th place and were relegated from the Premiership.

The Ginger Pelé has never won the World Cup.

Ginger things, part one

I'm ginger. I like beer. Beer is almost like ale. So surely that means that ginger ale is one of the best things in the world. At least it would be, if it had any alcohol in it. But that doesn't stop you from using it as a mixer. Now anything can be made to be that little bit ginger. But where does it come from? Who was the evil genius (or gingerous as I like to call him) that allowed us to spread the ginger quite so easily? Let's find out, shall we?

Apparently the first ginger ales were made in Ireland, in the 1850s. That's, like, a long time ago. It's worth noting here that there are proportionally more ginger people in Ireland than in any other part of the world - except maybe Middlesbrough. I think that I would like Ireland. Maybe I should move there someday.

However, the 'modern' version of ginger ale was invented by a Canadian pharmacist called Jon McLaughlin in 1890. I don't think that there are that many ginger people in Canada, so he was probably treated like a king back in the day - even before he started to brew his godly elixir, which he called McLaughlin Belfast Style Ginger Ale. That sounds good, doesn't it?

However, once he was a success, McLaughlin tried to shun the very ginger that he had once loved. In 1907 he found a way to lighten the colour of his ale (making it, boo hiss, less ginger) in order to sell it to people who were scared on becoming ginger should they take as little as a sip of the drink. This drink was patented as Canada Dry Pale Dry Ginger Ale, and explains to this day why so many ginger people also have very pale skin.

My favourite music, part two

As I said, I don't have many favourite songs. That's because, other than David Devant & His Spirit Wife, there's not many songs about being ginger. If there were, then I'm sure that I'd pay more attention to music. But as it is, I have no choice but to alter songs that already exist. I don't mean remixes or anything like that. I just change the words to make them appropriate. If I were a Smiths fan, then I'm sure that I'd make some reference about songs saying nothing about my life, but I wouldn't know about that sort of thing.

No, instead I have to change the lyrics to songs to give them added meaning. It's quite easy, all you have to do is choose a significant word from the song, & replace it with a different word. I use the word ginger. If I do this, my second favourite song go something like this...

"She came from Greece she had a thirst for knowledge
She studied sculpture at Saint Martin's College
That's where I
Caught her eye
She told me that her Dad was loaded
I said in that case I'll have a rum and coca-cola
She said fine
and in thirty seconds time she said,

I want to live like ginger people
I want to do whatever ginger people do
I want to sleep with ginger people
I want to sleep with ginger people
like you

Well what else could I do
I said I'll see what I can do
I took her to a supermarket
I don't know why but I had to start it somewhere
so it started there
I said pretend you've got no money
she just laughed and said
Oh you're so funny
I said yeah?
Well I can't see anyone else smiling in here

Are you sure you want to live like ginger people
you want to see whatever ginger people see
you want to sleep with ginger people
you want to sleep with ginger people
like me
But she didn't understand
she just smiled and held my hand

Rent a flat above a shop
cut your hair and get a job
Smoke some fags and play some pool
pretend you never went to school
But still you'll never get it right
cos when you're laid in bed at night
watching roaches climb the wall
if you call your Dad he could stop it all

You'll never live like ginger people
you'll never do what ginger people do
you'll never fail like ginger people
you'll never watch your life slide out of view
and dance and drink and screw
because there's nothing else to do

Sing along with the ginger people
sing along and it might just get you through
laugh along with the ginger people
laugh along even though they're laughing at you
and the stupid things that you do
Because you think that poor is cool

I want to live with ginger people"

My favourite music, part one

I don't have many favourite songs. That's because I can't remember them (I am a bit slow, after all), but this is one of them. In fact, it's the only one that I don't have to change the lyrics to in order to like it (more on that later).

It's by David Devant & His Spirit Wife. They don't exist any more. That makes me sad.

"Do you feel born out of time?
Does all the world seem behind you?
You must be ginger
And when you walk down the street
Do people tread on your heels?
And wag a finger?

Have you got plans in your head?
You wish they'd all go drop dead
Because they don't understand
They think you're from another land

Ginger
It's not the same for you
In another life maybe
We'd all be ginger & free

Do people tell you you're wrong
Won't let you feel you belong
In their club
You're an outsider
And when they shout freckle face
It makes you feel out of place
You're in the dentist's chair
Open wider

Ginger
It's not the same for you
In another life maybe
We'd all be ginger & free

We're gonna be
Ginger & free"

Me, part one

Hello. I'm ginger. And a bit slow.